Joining The Dots

Hindsight is probably the first step you take towards learning. If you can’t look back and realize the true meaning of your experiences, life hasn’t really taught you anything yet. If you are going to let things pass you by in life, they might seem as bliss at first but the tests of these unlearnt lessons will soon catch up with you. Most often than never, we leave it to others to mirror out our true feelings. And it’s only after a bit of deliberation that we realize, we were told something we knew all along, albeit with a new lesson, that we didn’t really need to put our heart on our sleeves. A bit of introspection would have sorted most of the husk!

Carnival of Rust (Poets Of The Fall)

To breathe the name
Of your savior
In your hour of need
And taste the blame,
If the flavor should remind you of greed
Of implication, insinuation and you will
Till you cannot lie still
In all this turmoil
Before red cave and foil
Come closing in for a kill

Come feed the rain
’cause I’m thirsty for your love,
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
’cause without your love
My life ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

It’s all a game
Avoiding failure
When true colors will bleed
All in the name of misbehavior
And the things we don’t need

I lost for after no disaster can touch,
Touch us anymore
And more than ever
I hope to never fall,
Where enough is not the same it was before

Come feed the rain
’cause I’m thirsty for your love,
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
’cause without your love
My life ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust
Yeah feed the rain
’cause I’m thirsty for your love,
Dancing underneath the skies of lust
Yeah feed the rain
’cause without your love
My life ain’t nothing but this carnival of rust

Don’t walk away, don’t walk away,
Ooh when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away,
Ooh when the heart is yearning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away,
Ooh when the world is burning
Don’t walk away, don’t walk away,
Ooh when the heart is yearning…

The Tensed Past Tense

Regret is possibly the most strongest of all emotions, it’s not always easy to deal with things that can’t be undone or redone. And the most damaging of all is when you don’t know why things turned out the way they did, that too with no warning. In hindsight, everything is too plainly obvious, but those observations hurt more than anything else.

But then there would be regrets at a point which offer no explanations, no hindsight and no warnings. Those stay with you for as long as you live. It’s these little gems that teach you to pick up the pieces one day at a time, and learn one new lesson with each piece of an incomplete puzzle that may never be whole again.

The song, Yesterday has been written and crooned by Paul McCartney where he sings about how he dealt with the loss of his mother. It shows confusion, guilt, a sudden sense of responsibly and an overwhelming sense of sadness. To everyone who’s loved and lost without a reason: rest in peace; body, mind and soul.

Yesterday (The Beatles)
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be,
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly…

Why she had to go I don’t know. She wouldn’t say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh I believe in yesterday…

Why she had to go I don’t know. She wouldn’t say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday…

A Happy After-life…To The Ones Who Survive!

It is hard to feel the loss of something that you have not experienced in its entirety. Yet when you do come around feeling that loss, it takes a lot of energy to deal with the stagnant flow of rhetoric questions that your mind throws at you.  That is exactly what happens when your first love lets go of you. It is much, much later that you fully realise the significance of all the experiences that you had and the ones that you could’ve had.

It’s not often that you are treated to a piece of heaven, and when the doors snaps shut it takes a part of your soul. But it’s never too late to grieve for a loss: the realisation is not always sudden.

However, life is not always a bed of roses. Sometimes, you are lucky enough to realise that you pulled yourself away just in time to hurt yourself further. Some firsts in life can leave you with bitter taste too.

Living a life beyond a ‘boulevard of broken dreams’ can be tough, but then again, memories are sometimes the best reminder of times well spent and a wholesome life. It is healthy to hold on to memories; sometime that’s all you get.

And sometimes you will meet people who will give you the full truth about the one you lost, good, bad, ugly and nasty without candy flossing things and no strings attached. That way it’s not a fantasy in your head you are holding on to, but respect for a relationship that didn’t survive.

In the end, it’s easy to like a pure soul, but it’s better to love something more tangible and real which you can manage to love despite all its flaws, that too beyond a lifetime of reality and existence.

Too Much Heaven (The Beegees)
Nobody gets too much heaven no more,
It’s much harder to come by,
I’m waiting in line.
Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as high as a mountain,
And harder to climb,

Oh you and me girl,
Got a lot of love in store,
And it flows through you,
And it flows through me,
And I love you so much more.

Than my life…
I can see beyond forever,
Ev’rything we are will never die,
Loving’s such a beautiful thing.

Oh you make my world, a summer day,
Are you just a dream to fade away?

Nobody gets too much heaven no more,
It’s much harder to come by,
I’m waiting in line.

Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as high as a mountain
,And harder to climb.

You and me girl, got a highway to the sky,
We can turn away from the night and day,
And the tears you had to cry.

You’re my life…
I can see a new tomorrow,
Ev’rything we are will never die,
Loving’s such a beautiful thing,

When you are to me, the light above,
Made for all to see our precious love.
Nobody gets too much heaven no more,

It’s much harder to come by,
I’m waiting in line.
Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as high as a mountain,
And harder to climb.

Love is such a beautiful thing,
You make my world a summer day,
Are you just a dream to fade away?

Nobody gets too much heaven no more,
It’s much harder to come by,
I’m waiting in line.
Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as high as a mountain,
And harder to climb.

Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as wide as a river and harder to cross.
Nobody gets too much heaven no more,
It’s much harder to come by,
I’m waiting in line.

Nobody gets too much love anymore,
It’s as high as a mountain,
And harder to climb…

Coming of Age: A Decade in Time

The first decade of the new millennium was a realization as I stepped of the comfort of school life and structured learning into the big bad world. Everything that I have to show for myself, I earned in these ten long years, right from my degrees to my new family life. Whether for better or for worse, only time can tell. However, here are some of the lessons I learnt through this beautiful and gruelling decade, with the best of companions that God handpicked, just for me! Hopefully the next decade goes a bit easy on me.

  1. It is good to believe. Faith however is optional.
  2. Blood is thicker than water; even then it flows smoothly continuously and without jerks, despite distances and differences.
  3. A sibling is the best gift god gives you. He tops it with an amazing life-partner!
  4. You can’t choose your relatives or co-workers, but choose friends wisely.
  5. A friend in need, most often than never, is an opportunist in disguise.
  6. Pay compliments without malice and in goodtime. A delayed compliment often translates into jealously.
  7. Actions without expectations are the best. It helps you keep anxiety in check.
  8. Revenge is the strongest emotion of all, but karma always wins.
  9. Keep prejudices at bay. That way your mind doesn’t lie to you.
  10. Never stock up any emotions. Laugh when something’s funny, cry when you’re sad, and yell when you’re angry. But never displace it to the wrong person; not even yourself.
  11. Enjoy everything in its entirety, it’s easier to analyse and dissect later.
  12. A regret of action can be rectified, but a time bound regret can’t. Do all that you want in good time and with foresight; ‘could have beens’ and ‘should have beens’ are very difficult to live with.
  13. Be open to change, but learn to draw the line subtly.
  14. Inquisitiveness is good if your questions are answered; most often than never.
  15. It’s good to have perspectives, but be cautious when sharing them.
  16. Never hate someone who has a point of view and has the courage to express it too. Such people are difficult to come by.
  17. Never put your self in someone else’s shoes, they will end up blaming you for stealing them; extra pairs of shoes are not always good.
  18. For all the bad things you do, your children pay the price. Be better parents for them right from the start.
  19. Have an imagination; it becomes easier to appreciate the finer things in life.
  20. To have a healthy love life, you need to be the closest of friends for life.
  21. Love is always between equals.
  22. You need to be truly blessed to love unconditionally and not be taken for granted in return.
  23. It is healthy to hold on to memories. Sometime it’s all you have.
  24. It’s never too late to grieve for a loss. Realisation is not always sudden.
  25. Professionalism is not the best of virtues to have, but it guarantees you sound sleep every night.
  26. Speak your mind, but choose your words.
  27. Don’t expect perfection, only aim for it. That way you will still like yourself in the end.
  28. Its better to fantasize than procrastinate that too while appearing to be busy. That’s what multitasking is all about!
  29. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, being smart is better than being intelligent.
  30. It’s easier to remember nightmares in detail, but dreams are very forgettable. Same goes for joys and sorrows.
  31.  Dogs love you unconditionally, even if you don’t feed them or play with them everyday.
  32. A relationship that can stand the test of geographical distances and get better despite of the void is for keeps.
  33. When you love unconditionally, there are only random acts of kindness, no sacrifices of compromises.
  34. There are no such things as rose-tinted glasses; the world is full of cynics who are negative. Positivism is, at times, overrated.
  35. Competition is never healthy. You feel the guilt despite winning or losing.
  36. Avoid monetizing your hobby; the very essence of its de-stressing nature is lost. Make money from your second most favourite thing instead.
  37. All the questions of life come with options. But at times, you get the results the hard way.
  38. Never say no to anyone. Whether you carry out the deed is a different thing altogether. Save yourself the energy of getting into meaningless arguments that leave a bitter taste without doing any good.
  39. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut. You need to use only your ears and shut your brain when criticism comes about.
  40. Don’t try to change the world all by yourself. It’s quite capable to do so by itself and that too at a blistering pace that you don’t even notice!
  41. You can’t make everybody like you. Settle with liking yourself to start with.
  42. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, especially when you are suicidal.
  43. Work is the worse thing to get addicted to. Detached attachment is the best medicine.
  44. No one but you can decide your own calibre. Others just try to clip your wings.
  45. Honesty is the best policy only if it doesn’t get you into trouble.
  46. It’s good to be punctual, even if no one else is. It goes a long way.
  47. Create a happy place in your mind. It helps you switch off your mind and wander away when in boring meetings. But cultivate sharp reflexes before that.
  48. Read across genres. You never know what you would end up enjoying.
  49. You can never learn from another’s mistakes, you got to make them all yourself and learn things the hard way. But it’s important to get the best out of every folly you commit.
  50. ‘I am sorry’ is the most powerful of statement. Even without any emotional backing, it helps you save energy for more important decisions in life.

La Amour Éternel: The Unquestioned Relationship

Some people are very lucky to have lived a life with someone they loved so deeply and with so much zest and got loved with the same fervor in return, that too without asking for it. We call their love stories as fairly tales, as everyone longs but few are chosen to live them; yet some throw it away yearning for more, always testing resistance of their relationship. They come in all shapes and sizes, as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends and foes, lovers and admirers.

When a mother gives birth to a child, she has her own reason to shower a child with safety and affection. But the child responds and comprehends only with unconditional love; trust and faith have no influence on that young mind.

These relationships don’t come with faith and trust. They start as admiration and the hope and reliance just come in by themselves.  Attaching any other emotion to such a love is unnecessary. Such bonds last for eternity, beyond all forces of nature: always pure and insatiable.

P.S.: The title is French for “The Eternal Love”.

I discovered this song “Two Hearts” by Jennifer Avalon & Noel Boland. The song describes the unison of two souls in heaven, and how they decide to stay together for eternity and plan a future beyond their physical existence. And then there are always angels that bring in the “coincidences” that help lost lovers meet time after time.

Two Hearts
In a garden where the jasmine blooms
Underneath a sapphire moon
Two lovers with the Universe in their eyes

As they wander by a flowing stream
Open hands weaving crystal dreams
Making plans for the future days of their lives

Through time they’ve never let go
The past a circle that comes around
A dance that both of them know
They’ll meet again on solid ground

Chorus:
Two hearts that beat as one
Their journey’s only begun
Two hearts that beat as one
Let no man put asunder

The clouds lift and the sky is blue
Angel’s whisper what they’re gonna do
Bring together these blessed two, to be found

Their souls will join once again,
When Heaven tells them where and when

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
Let no man put asunder
Two lives so laced with wonder
What God has brought together, lasts forever

Snapshots of a wholesome existance…

Obituaries are most often than never the most deeply felt and the best piece of literature written about you. Too bad you’re not around to know, how people who loved you feel about you. May be that’s why they say, appreciate with your eyes and your heart, without spite or malice, that too in good time.

Most people you meet, you might not like everyone, but have qualities that you have come to admire.

The day you hold people in high esteem for the strength that they carry with them, is the day you find empathy inside you. It makes you stronger to avoid judging anyone for their actions. Think about it, there the people you know who can be caring, loving, open-minded, sympathetic, liberal, opportunists, politically inclined, abused, abusive, infidels, with colored perspectives, neutral, or just plain human.

When you take your association with any of these people one notch higher, i.e. when they are no longer your friends, colleagues or acquaintances, you become comfortable bringing your thoughts closer.  There is no reason for all of your relationships to have a tag. You know you’ve grown closer to people, when you share your perspectives with them or find yourself at ease to share your point of view without the fear of offending them.

And once they feel free to open their minds to you, you realize that you can see qualities in them that you don’t possess. Now it’s up to you to compete with them or feel blessed that you have encountered such wonderful people in your lifetime!

I came across the perfect song for this theme, courtesy Lenka. Taking your existence for granted is probably the best bus you’ve missed! Read the lyrics and judge for yourself.

Live Like You’re Dying
One of these days
You’ll be, under the covers
You’ll be under the table and you’ll realize

That all of your days are numbered
All of them one to one hundred
All of them millions
All of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You cannot trade them in for more, no no…

Take every moment; you know that you own them

Gimme a reason
To fight the feeling
That there’s nothing here for me

‘Cause none of its easy
I know it wasn’t meant to be
I know it’s all up to me
It’s all up to me

So what am I gonna do with my time, oh…

Take every moment; you know that you own them
It’s all up to you to do whatever you choose

Live like you’re dying and never stop trying
It’s all you can do
Use what’s been given to you

All of the moments you didn’t notice
Gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can’t help feeling
No matter how you try…

It’s all you can do
Use what’s been given to you…

Hope you had the time of your life!

The year has gone by, and while I don’t really enjoy all the pressure to celebrate, I can’t help but reminisce about the year that went by!

For starters, the Earth just turned 2010 years old since Jesus Christ left for his heavenly abode. Spinning around for so long, it’s about time she starts complaining, which explains all the natural disasters, calamities and we as her children haven’t been to kind with her either. But out with the negative. There are enough preachers in the world trying in vain to protect the environment from damnation.

But nature in itself is a great leveler. You just need to open your eyes and feel with all your senses. What you lose in one form is always compensated in another. If you lost a job, you got friends who drink with you and pay for your drinks just to spend some quality time with you. If you didn’t manage to get your dream house, you got a partner who makes you crave to go back to the home you made together. If you lost out on friends, you got relationships to last all seasons instead. If your daily travel is a drag, you got travel mates to make it fun!

When you decide to weigh your balance sheet now, your blessings will be equal to the curses, but it balance will always tip over in the favor of your blessings! Guess it’s a good time to count your blessings and invite a new year in the chapter of Mother Earth’s life with open arms. Celebrate her birthday in style! This song by Green Day says it all, read and judge for yourself…Happy New Year!!

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don’t ask why
It’s not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still-frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life (x3)

Friends Never Say Goodbye

We all have friends as well as acquaintances. Most people don’t know which relationship ends where or even begins for what. Acquaintances are those nice people with whom you enjoy a good laugh almost always. You never carry any emotional baggage towards them or with them. With friends, you don’t really laugh always. You cry and you share your feelings with an intention of sharing and not muttering them as some vague funny anecdote. But having said that, neither or the two are dispensable!

All said and done, you need to be extremely careful when you wish to induct an acquaintance into your circle of friends, because friendship is probably the most mature relationship you invest into. In times like today, a friend in need is probably an opportunist in disguise. And this way of life has made it far too easy to shatter hopes and faith without too much effort. A friend is never a friend for life. With passing time and growing trust, this relationship transcends into something deeper. He/she goes from being an acquaintance, to a companion, a confidant and if a bit of infatuation is involved, you can also be involved romantically. Thus a friend remains for life but the way you value his / her presence in your, and the influence they have on your decisions evolve gradually.

When you think and look back at the good times, you will realize that you had friends at all the right places and the all the important junctures of your life. While you part ways with most of them, some stick to you solid. And when you have to pick between your dreams, your aspirations and your soul-friend, the choice will never be hard…in the words of Elton John “Friends Never say goodbye”! I found this beautiful song on the OST of The Road to El Dorado, I’m sure it will remind you of the closest friend you had to turn away from….and also remind you, there’s always time for friends!

Friends Never Say Goodbye
There isn’t much I haven’t shared
With you along the road
And through it all there’d always be
Tomorrow’s episode
Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions, take no side
Who’s to say who’s right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been
Will ever be as one

What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I’ll lose
But if I started over I know I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye

Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning, the great divide
I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye

Life’s crossroads have no sign-posts!

Like many people suggest, adolescence is one of the scariest crossroads that one would encounter in their life. You will probably regret some of the decisions you made back then, but you don’t remember life’s lessons and wrong decisions without regret.

You also realize that your mistakes are your alone, you cannot undo them, nor can you learn from the ones others make. If you reflect and reminisce you will probably realize that no two people learn the same lesson from the same mistake either!

In your adolescence, everything is a crisis because every feeling is new and frightening all at once. Plus no one understands you because for your elders you’re either a drama queen or they blame it on hormones. So you are basically all by yourself and the person who helps you make your decisions (or vetoes them), your best friend, you soul sister, who is your age probably, is just as clueless as you are about life.

As you grow older, priorities shift base. With the mounting work stress, relationships take a back seat. By the time you wake you to a not-so-happy realization, reality hits you in the face and your feelings are at a complete disarray… you never really saw that coming!

Or you are really working hard to salvage a relationship that means a lot to you, but keep hitting dead ends…you don’t want to give up, but you can’t do it alone, you are looking for help.

And then there are times when you try too hard and realize that you are trying to change yourself too much for someone and end up feeling lost at times and foolish at times. And to top it all, you are scared to reveal your true feelings fearing misunderstandings or being ridiculed!

This song I heard captures all these emotions at multiples levels. It is sung by an Australian signer known as Lenka, who is in her early 30’s but she sounds like a teen! Her song called ‘The Show’ is chirpy and light, yet is just as deep as the song ‘Smile’. As the song comes to an end, the singer reminds you, like all else even this turbulence will pass over, sit back and enjoy your miseries just like you enjoy the good times.

I’m sure a 13-year-old and a 25-year-old will both feel an instant connect to the song, albeit the intensity of feelings may be varied. I’m putting up the lyrics for your reading pleasure (or if you wish to sing-along), but you really need to hear it rather than read it to feel it!

The Show
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why.

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop.

Cos it’s too much, yeh it’s a lot
To be something I’m not.
I’m a fool, out of love
Cos I just can’t get enough

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why

I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared, but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I got to let it go
And just enjoy the show.

The sun is hot, in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight.
The people follow a sign
And synchronize in time.
It’s a joke, nobody knows
They got a ticket to the show

Yeh, I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why
I am just a little girl lost in the moment I’m so scared,
That I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out It’s bringing me down I know
I got to let it go

And just enjoy the show oh oh oh oh oh.
Just enjoy the show oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
And I don’t know why
I am just a little girl lost in the moment
I’m so scared, but I don’t show it
I can’t figure it out
It’s bringing me down I know
I got to let it go
And just enjoy the show.

Dum de dum, duh dum de dum just enjoy the show (x2)
I want my money back (x3)
Just enjoy the show
I want my money back (x3)
Just enjoy the show…..

Freedom: A Bestowed Responsibility

flying lanternsFreedom will be the ‘in’ word soon with Independence Day just around the corner. The Constitution of India has painstakingly ensured that each citizen or any person on the Indian soil is treated and tried for the actions he has done as an individual and not actions taken by a cult or mob that he is a part of.

If the nation as an entity can protect and consider us in an individual capacity, is it fair for sects – religious, or otherwise – to use this as a shield for their selfish motives?

People usually talk about freedom of speech, but fail to realize that by wagging their tongue incessantly about another’s affairs, they are violating another right of leading a life with dignity and liberty. Everyone enjoys a good gossip at the cost of the other, without realizing the implications voicing their opinion. So be it the person sitting in the next cubicle, or a celluloid actor, there is an urgent need for restraint.

Let us begin with ourselves as “Mahatma Gandhi” once said, “Be the change to want to see in the world”. We also need to voice and control our opinions about what we see and hear.

And keeping in mind the large scheme of things, the media should also curb its enthusiasm, since it has a far stronger reach and a more gripping effect on those especially, who are low on literacy. Depiction of certain incidents has been in very bad taste keeping in mind the general audience and they tend to have a very damning effect on those who are easily convinced. The media today have a gift of changing the ways we perceive the incidents that occur around us and thus they need to act more responsibly and respect the sensibilities of their viewers on the whole.

And like an age old idiom goes, live and let live…let that be the way we lead our lives, caring yet aloof about secrets which are not ours to share but a promise that one needs to hold on to.