Coming of Age: A Decade in Time

The first decade of the new millennium was a realization as I stepped of the comfort of school life and structured learning into the big bad world. Everything that I have to show for myself, I earned in these ten long years, right from my degrees to my new family life. Whether for better or for worse, only time can tell. However, here are some of the lessons I learnt through this beautiful and gruelling decade, with the best of companions that God handpicked, just for me! Hopefully the next decade goes a bit easy on me.

  1. It is good to believe. Faith however is optional.
  2. Blood is thicker than water; even then it flows smoothly continuously and without jerks, despite distances and differences.
  3. A sibling is the best gift god gives you. He tops it with an amazing life-partner!
  4. You can’t choose your relatives or co-workers, but choose friends wisely.
  5. A friend in need, most often than never, is an opportunist in disguise.
  6. Pay compliments without malice and in goodtime. A delayed compliment often translates into jealously.
  7. Actions without expectations are the best. It helps you keep anxiety in check.
  8. Revenge is the strongest emotion of all, but karma always wins.
  9. Keep prejudices at bay. That way your mind doesn’t lie to you.
  10. Never stock up any emotions. Laugh when something’s funny, cry when you’re sad, and yell when you’re angry. But never displace it to the wrong person; not even yourself.
  11. Enjoy everything in its entirety, it’s easier to analyse and dissect later.
  12. A regret of action can be rectified, but a time bound regret can’t. Do all that you want in good time and with foresight; ‘could have beens’ and ‘should have beens’ are very difficult to live with.
  13. Be open to change, but learn to draw the line subtly.
  14. Inquisitiveness is good if your questions are answered; most often than never.
  15. It’s good to have perspectives, but be cautious when sharing them.
  16. Never hate someone who has a point of view and has the courage to express it too. Such people are difficult to come by.
  17. Never put your self in someone else’s shoes, they will end up blaming you for stealing them; extra pairs of shoes are not always good.
  18. For all the bad things you do, your children pay the price. Be better parents for them right from the start.
  19. Have an imagination; it becomes easier to appreciate the finer things in life.
  20. To have a healthy love life, you need to be the closest of friends for life.
  21. Love is always between equals.
  22. You need to be truly blessed to love unconditionally and not be taken for granted in return.
  23. It is healthy to hold on to memories. Sometime it’s all you have.
  24. It’s never too late to grieve for a loss. Realisation is not always sudden.
  25. Professionalism is not the best of virtues to have, but it guarantees you sound sleep every night.
  26. Speak your mind, but choose your words.
  27. Don’t expect perfection, only aim for it. That way you will still like yourself in the end.
  28. Its better to fantasize than procrastinate that too while appearing to be busy. That’s what multitasking is all about!
  29. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, being smart is better than being intelligent.
  30. It’s easier to remember nightmares in detail, but dreams are very forgettable. Same goes for joys and sorrows.
  31.  Dogs love you unconditionally, even if you don’t feed them or play with them everyday.
  32. A relationship that can stand the test of geographical distances and get better despite of the void is for keeps.
  33. When you love unconditionally, there are only random acts of kindness, no sacrifices of compromises.
  34. There are no such things as rose-tinted glasses; the world is full of cynics who are negative. Positivism is, at times, overrated.
  35. Competition is never healthy. You feel the guilt despite winning or losing.
  36. Avoid monetizing your hobby; the very essence of its de-stressing nature is lost. Make money from your second most favourite thing instead.
  37. All the questions of life come with options. But at times, you get the results the hard way.
  38. Never say no to anyone. Whether you carry out the deed is a different thing altogether. Save yourself the energy of getting into meaningless arguments that leave a bitter taste without doing any good.
  39. Keep your eyes and ears open, and your mouth shut. You need to use only your ears and shut your brain when criticism comes about.
  40. Don’t try to change the world all by yourself. It’s quite capable to do so by itself and that too at a blistering pace that you don’t even notice!
  41. You can’t make everybody like you. Settle with liking yourself to start with.
  42. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, especially when you are suicidal.
  43. Work is the worse thing to get addicted to. Detached attachment is the best medicine.
  44. No one but you can decide your own calibre. Others just try to clip your wings.
  45. Honesty is the best policy only if it doesn’t get you into trouble.
  46. It’s good to be punctual, even if no one else is. It goes a long way.
  47. Create a happy place in your mind. It helps you switch off your mind and wander away when in boring meetings. But cultivate sharp reflexes before that.
  48. Read across genres. You never know what you would end up enjoying.
  49. You can never learn from another’s mistakes, you got to make them all yourself and learn things the hard way. But it’s important to get the best out of every folly you commit.
  50. ‘I am sorry’ is the most powerful of statement. Even without any emotional backing, it helps you save energy for more important decisions in life.

La Amour Éternel: The Unquestioned Relationship

Some people are very lucky to have lived a life with someone they loved so deeply and with so much zest and got loved with the same fervor in return, that too without asking for it. We call their love stories as fairly tales, as everyone longs but few are chosen to live them; yet some throw it away yearning for more, always testing resistance of their relationship. They come in all shapes and sizes, as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends and foes, lovers and admirers.

When a mother gives birth to a child, she has her own reason to shower a child with safety and affection. But the child responds and comprehends only with unconditional love; trust and faith have no influence on that young mind.

These relationships don’t come with faith and trust. They start as admiration and the hope and reliance just come in by themselves.  Attaching any other emotion to such a love is unnecessary. Such bonds last for eternity, beyond all forces of nature: always pure and insatiable.

P.S.: The title is French for “The Eternal Love”.

I discovered this song “Two Hearts” by Jennifer Avalon & Noel Boland. The song describes the unison of two souls in heaven, and how they decide to stay together for eternity and plan a future beyond their physical existence. And then there are always angels that bring in the “coincidences” that help lost lovers meet time after time.

Two Hearts
In a garden where the jasmine blooms
Underneath a sapphire moon
Two lovers with the Universe in their eyes

As they wander by a flowing stream
Open hands weaving crystal dreams
Making plans for the future days of their lives

Through time they’ve never let go
The past a circle that comes around
A dance that both of them know
They’ll meet again on solid ground

Two hearts that beat as one
Their journey’s only begun
Two hearts that beat as one
Let no man put asunder

The clouds lift and the sky is blue
Angel’s whisper what they’re gonna do
Bring together these blessed two, to be found

Their souls will join once again,
When Heaven tells them where and when

(Repeat Chorus)

Let no man put asunder
Two lives so laced with wonder
What God has brought together, lasts forever

Snapshots of a wholesome existance…

Obituaries are most often than never the most deeply felt and the best piece of literature written about you. Too bad you’re not around to know, how people who loved you feel about you. May be that’s why they say, appreciate with your eyes and your heart, without spite or malice, that too in good time.

Most people you meet, you might not like everyone, but have qualities that you have come to admire.

The day you hold people in high esteem for the strength that they carry with them, is the day you find empathy inside you. It makes you stronger to avoid judging anyone for their actions. Think about it, there the people you know who can be caring, loving, open-minded, sympathetic, liberal, opportunists, politically inclined, abused, abusive, infidels, with colored perspectives, neutral, or just plain human.

When you take your association with any of these people one notch higher, i.e. when they are no longer your friends, colleagues or acquaintances, you become comfortable bringing your thoughts closer.  There is no reason for all of your relationships to have a tag. You know you’ve grown closer to people, when you share your perspectives with them or find yourself at ease to share your point of view without the fear of offending them.

And once they feel free to open their minds to you, you realize that you can see qualities in them that you don’t possess. Now it’s up to you to compete with them or feel blessed that you have encountered such wonderful people in your lifetime!

I came across the perfect song for this theme, courtesy Lenka. Taking your existence for granted is probably the best bus you’ve missed! Read the lyrics and judge for yourself.

Live Like You’re Dying
One of these days
You’ll be, under the covers
You’ll be under the table and you’ll realize

That all of your days are numbered
All of them one to one hundred
All of them millions
All of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You cannot trade them in for more, no no…

Take every moment; you know that you own them

Gimme a reason
To fight the feeling
That there’s nothing here for me

‘Cause none of its easy
I know it wasn’t meant to be
I know it’s all up to me
It’s all up to me

So what am I gonna do with my time, oh…

Take every moment; you know that you own them
It’s all up to you to do whatever you choose

Live like you’re dying and never stop trying
It’s all you can do
Use what’s been given to you

All of the moments you didn’t notice
Gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can’t help feeling
No matter how you try…

It’s all you can do
Use what’s been given to you…

Hope you had the time of your life!

The year has gone by, and while I don’t really enjoy all the pressure to celebrate, I can’t help but reminisce about the year that went by!

For starters, the Earth just turned 2010 years old since Jesus Christ left for his heavenly abode. Spinning around for so long, it’s about time she starts complaining, which explains all the natural disasters, calamities and we as her children haven’t been to kind with her either. But out with the negative. There are enough preachers in the world trying in vain to protect the environment from damnation.

But nature in itself is a great leveler. You just need to open your eyes and feel with all your senses. What you lose in one form is always compensated in another. If you lost a job, you got friends who drink with you and pay for your drinks just to spend some quality time with you. If you didn’t manage to get your dream house, you got a partner who makes you crave to go back to the home you made together. If you lost out on friends, you got relationships to last all seasons instead. If your daily travel is a drag, you got travel mates to make it fun!

When you decide to weigh your balance sheet now, your blessings will be equal to the curses, but it balance will always tip over in the favor of your blessings! Guess it’s a good time to count your blessings and invite a new year in the chapter of Mother Earth’s life with open arms. Celebrate her birthday in style! This song by Green Day says it all, read and judge for yourself…Happy New Year!!

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist
Directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
And don’t ask why
It’s not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs
And still-frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time

Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth
It was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life (x3)

Friends Never Say Goodbye

We all have friends as well as acquaintances. Most people don’t know which relationship ends where or even begins for what. Acquaintances are those nice people with whom you enjoy a good laugh almost always. You never carry any emotional baggage towards them or with them. With friends, you don’t really laugh always. You cry and you share your feelings with an intention of sharing and not muttering them as some vague funny anecdote. But having said that, neither or the two are dispensable!

All said and done, you need to be extremely careful when you wish to induct an acquaintance into your circle of friends, because friendship is probably the most mature relationship you invest into. In times like today, a friend in need is probably an opportunist in disguise. And this way of life has made it far too easy to shatter hopes and faith without too much effort. A friend is never a friend for life. With passing time and growing trust, this relationship transcends into something deeper. He/she goes from being an acquaintance, to a companion, a confidant and if a bit of infatuation is involved, you can also be involved romantically. Thus a friend remains for life but the way you value his / her presence in your, and the influence they have on your decisions evolve gradually.

When you think and look back at the good times, you will realize that you had friends at all the right places and the all the important junctures of your life. While you part ways with most of them, some stick to you solid. And when you have to pick between your dreams, your aspirations and your soul-friend, the choice will never be hard…in the words of Elton John “Friends Never say goodbye”! I found this beautiful song on the OST of The Road to El Dorado, I’m sure it will remind you of the closest friend you had to turn away from….and also remind you, there’s always time for friends!

Friends Never Say Goodbye
There isn’t much I haven’t shared
With you along the road
And through it all there’d always be
Tomorrow’s episode
Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning the great divide
Ask no questions, take no side
Who’s to say who’s right or wrong
Whose course is braver run
Still we are, have always been
Will ever be as one

What is done has been done for the best
Though the mist in my eyes might suggest
Just a little confusion about what I’ll lose
But if I started over I know I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye

Suddenly that isn’t true
There’s another avenue
Beckoning, the great divide
I would choose
The same joy the same sadness each step of the way
That fought me and taught me that friends never say
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye
Never say goodbye